[Enlevement Mod] (enlevement_mod) wrote,
[Enlevement Mod]
enlevement_mod

{REFECTORY MENU}

Refectory Menu
Try our salmonella salad!


Because there has been some questions over what is being served at the Refectory, I've put together a list of foods for the lulz and their side effects. That way, everyone knows what is being served at the Refectory each hour of the day.

There is a set time for each meal, so this list will be split in breakfast, luncheon, dinner, drinks, and then sides.

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Breakfast
Served from 6AM to 11AM.


Bacon: Your typical strips of bacon. Most of the time, however, these are more grease and fat than meat. [Side effects; other than a higher risk of suffering heart-burn? None.]
Biscuits: Tasty stale biscuits, available with a wide range of dressings including, but not limited to, honey, gravy, and some bland, green unknown substance. [Side effects; none.]
Bread: Just what the name implies, bread. You may choose if you want it toasted, white or wheat, and with what toping. [Side effects; none.]
Cereal: Served in a plastic bowl with a small carton of milk. All brands are unrecognizable, but they seem to taste like other familiar brands in your world. [Side effects; none, but the milk might be rotten and cause indigestion.]
Cheese Omelet: Your run of the mill omelet, made with diced tomatoes, green peppers, onions, and stuffed with cheese and bacon strips. [Side effects; proved to cause gas.]
Croissants: Your typical croissant, available with your choice of topping. [Side effects; none.]
Eggs: The name says it all, eggs. You may choose from boiled eggs, fried eggs, or scrambled. [Side effects; slight indigestion if served cold.]
French Toast: White bread cooked in a pan with eggs, milk, cinnamon, and what seems to be a hint of vanilla extract. Unfortunately, it's always cold when it reaches your plate. [Side effects; if it's too cold, food poisoning, otherwise there are no side effects.]
Fruit: Fruit... Just chilled fruit. You get to pick from a wide variety, including, but not limited to, apples, bananas, cranberries, and pears. [Side effects; none.]
Pancakes: Light, fluffy, and slightly burnt! These pancakes are smaller than your fist and surprisingly thin, they are also served with a small cup of butter syrup. And yes, I do mean butter syrup. ♥ [Side effects; none, but they will cause an upset stomach if they are under-cooked, or you used too much butter syrup.]
Pastries: Generic 'Pop tarts', to put it bluntly. They come in every flavor in existence, including 'Grown Man's Sweat'. Yum! [Side effects; some flavors may cause severe food poisoning.]
Waffles: Frozen waffles toasted until the edges turn black, or not toasted at all. They come with a small cup of butter syrup. [Side effects; if not cooked properly they may cause indigestion.


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Luncheon
Served from 12PM to 2PM.


Carrot Sticks: Simple carrot sticks, served in a small plastic bowl by the dozen. [Side effects; none.]
Chicken Salad Sandwich: Shredded chicken dressed with mayonnaise, mustard or sour cream and put over a simple slice of bread, covered with lettuce and then another slice of bread. [Side effects; none.]
Cookies: Your typical cookie available in a variety of flavors, sometimes burnt around the edges. [Side effects; none.]
Fruit: These seem to be whatever was left-over from breakfast, since they seem to be quite warm or mushy. [Side effects; none.]
PB&J: Your run of the mill peanut butter and jelly sandwich, available in white or wheat bread and a variety of different jellies. [Side effects; none.]


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Dinner
Served from 6PM to 9PM.


Burger: Surprisingly enough, this burger looks quite safe. It is served in a plastic plate with cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes. [Side effects; none.]
Pizza: Available in over 100 different toppings. Need we say more? [Side effects; none.]
Ratamari: Fried squid? Oh no silly guest, our ratamari is made with real rats, fried in a batter of God knows what and served with a smile. ♥ [Side effects; severe stomach pain, diarrhea, and vomiting.]
Rice, Pork & Beans: Served in a large plastic plate and not always warm. You may choose from white or brown rice and what kind of beans. [Side effects; ...Gas?]
Tacos: Your typical tacos, served with salmonella tomatoes and wilting lettuce. You may also use our special taco sauce (read; based on arm-pit sweat). [Side effects; Severe salmonella poisoning, may worsen if the sauce is used.]
Three Year Meatloaf: This tasty little piece of meat has been aged for three years, left in the kitchen's basement for years until it's ripe and hairy, just like wine. Very bad wine. Tasty! [Side effects; causes severe stomach pains, diarrhea and vomiting.]


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Dessert
Served from 6PM to 10PM.


Cake: Comes in a wide variety of flavors, such as chocolate, vanilla, carrot, and the ever popular 'Pink Pig'! [Side effects; unless you pick a strange flavor (read: which causes diarrhea), none.]
Cookie: A surprisingly large cookie, available in a wide variety of flavors. Might be stale or moldy. [Side effects; diarrhea.]
Fruit Cups: Fruit... In a cup. Amazing, isn't it? [Side effects; none.]
Ice Cream: Comes in chocolate, vanilla, and a mystery flavor (read; a mix of blood red, pus green, moldy blue, etc. in a shapeless swirl). Served in a small plastic cup with your choice of toppings. [Side effects; none, unless you pick the mystery flavor, then your character gets diarrhea and nausea.]
Pie: Your everyday pie, available in a wide variety of flavors. [Side effects; none.]
Snow Cones: Your run of the mill snow cones. Come in the usual flavors, and the not so usual flavors... Like Bruised Apple and Seedy Watermelon. [Side effects; the unusual flavors give your character an upset stomach.]

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Drinks
Served 24/7


Coffee: Made from the best animal droppings Colombian beans. [Side effects; Still needs anim- Err, Consumer 'satisfaction' testing (read; your choice of side effect).]
Dr. Salt: A salty, highly carbonated beverage. Apparently, it's supposed to be root bear. [Side effects; indigestion.]
Juice: Comes in a tiny plastic bottle and in a variety of flavors. [Side effects; none]
Lemonade: Unless you actually remember to ask for the sugar, this lemonade is sour enough to make grown men cry. [Side effects; sore throat.]
Lock-a-Loca: A tasteless, highly carbonated beverage. [Side effects; will make your character slightly unstable for 24 hours.]
Milk: Served in a small carton and not always cold. Also comes in chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry, may also be spoiled. [Side effects; If spoiled, indigestion.]
Shakes: Comes in all the usual flavors and then some. An example of one of the most (in)famous flavors would be Octopus Eel Fusion. [Side effects; Unusual flavors might cause vomiting.]
Tea: You may choose from cold or hot tea. Comes in different flavors, made from the finest weed; or grass, if we're short on weed tea leaves. Yes, let's go with that. [Side effects; High ...Strange behavior, and encounters with dead friends and family members. No, we did not drug it you silly, silly guests!]
Water: It's water, and if it's not clear, you should probably ask for another. Yay lead! [Side effects; your choice~]


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Sides
Served 24/7



Pasta


Devil's Hair Pasta: Your run of the mill pasta, except for one little detail... It has been left out for so long that it's actually hairy. [Side effects; severe food poisoning.]
Lasagna: Layers of pasta over and under meat, sour cream, cottage cheese, and chunky tomato sauce. Sometimes served stale. [Side effects; If stale, it will cause an upset stomach.]
Mac 'n Cheese: Small elbow-noodles covered in cheese sauce. [Side effects; none]

Salads


Bean Salad: Composed of pole beans, garbanzo beans, kidney beans and diced beetroot. It is marinated (read; drowned) in cooking oil and 'sweetened' with sugar. [Side effects; Very... Very stinky gas, and indigestion.]
Chef Salad: Consists of hard-cooked eggs, strips of our special ham, roast beef, turkey, chicken, and cheese, all of which are placed upon a bed of tossed salad greens. [Side effects; none.]
Chicken Salad: Chopped chicken smothered in mayonnaise, mixed in with onions, bell peppers, celery, grape and apples. [Side effects; Indigestion]
Coleslaw Salad: Shredded cabbage and carrots mixed in with mayonnaise. Actually, there seems to be more mayonnaise than vegetable... Strange, isn't it? [Side effects; none.]
Greek Salad: Chopped tomatoes, sliced cucumbers, and red onions seasoned with slat, black pepper, oregano and then marinated with what appears to be olive oil. [Side effects; none.]
Potato Salad: Baby potatoes cooked in their skin and chopped up into chunks with boiled eggs, mixed in with a (un)healthy amount of mayonnaise and slapped into a small plastic bowl. [Side effects; Upset stomach.]
Tuna Salad: Your run of the mill tuna salad. Mmm'mmm, mayonnaise! [Side effects; none.]

Soup


Chicken Broth: Served in a small plastic cup and seems to be a little on the salty side. Almost always hot enough to burn. [Side effects; helps recovery during an illness.]
Chicken Noodle Soup: The same as the chicken broth, but with noodles. Served in a small plastic bowl. [Side effects; helps recovery during an illness.]
Chowder: Thick and creamy chowder. You can pick from clam chowder and corn chowder. [Side effects; clam chowder causes nausea, corn chowder has no side effects.]
Ramen: Quite obviously pre-made. Most of the time, the noodles are a wee-bit too over-cooked. [Side effects; none]
Tomato Soup: Very runny, comes with the occasional chunk of salmonella tomato. [Side effects; Mild salmonella poisoning.]

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If you have any suggestions, or want a special menu added, feel free to contact the mod~ ♥

Tags: *basic info, *menu
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